(Guest Post by: Rocky Cigler – Blogmas Day Eight)
Have you ever heard the expression, “Oh, to be a fly on that wall”?
It’s a term that means I wish I could have been there to see that. Now, you’ve probably thought it yourself. If you could’ve been there, what would you want to see that you didn’t?
For me, it was Jordan hitting that game winning shot at the buzzer, the Titanic, dinosaurs, anyone that has won the lottery, the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and the assassination of JFK. Could you imagine the sheer energy of any of these events? The amazement, wonder, awe, happiness, sadness, and even the change in the lives of the people around you!
All of these events would have been great gifts to have been a fly on the wall for, if only to feel the energy from them! However, there is one event that if we would have been a fly on the wall, we may have actually been knee deep in! But that’s how it usually is, knee deep when He comes. That’s how it has been for me, at least! For a fly it’s literal! For me, though, it’s been knee deep in suffering.
However, that’s what I gravitate towards and also what seems to surround me as well.
Christmas has always been a weird time for me. I was raised Jewish, so I recall Hanukkah, not Christmas. All the kids at school thought I was blessed because I received gifts for 8 days instead of one. But they didn’t know that we were poor, and unless my grandparents sent in something, we didn’t get anything.
I remember being envious of my cousins, my friends, and all their gifts! I was adopted into a family where my mother was a Polish Jew and my father was German. I was mixed Mexican and white! That’s a joke in itself!
So here I am, the only kid in school that was mixed, adopted, and Jewish; whose mom insisted that the school refrain from teaching anything about Jesus or the holocaust, and teach about Jewish culture instead! Needless to say, I didn’t fit in very well and got picked on because of it.
At home, I was picked on simply because of the color of my skin and because I wasn’t their biological child! Child Protective Services called it abuse in every manner, and there I was at 8 years old attempting to commit suicide for the first time. I felt there was something extremely wrong with me! Back then, I wished I was a fly just so I could escape.
At the age of 12, I got that chance to escape when my adopted parents decided they couldn’t raise me anymore and signed their rights over to the state. CPS took me away and put me in a shelter that turned into 6 years of bouncing around from group homes, foster homes, and behavioral treatment facilities!
Christmas became something that I despised because I had no family, and who cared about gifts! I would’ve given anything to be a fly on anyone’s wall at that time. Fast forward to age 29, and I’m yet in another situation where I wish I was a fly on anyone else’s wall besides the knee-deep situation I had gotten myself into!
I woke up at a crack house after a 5-year bender of crack cocaine, tired and lonely, because yet again I pushed everyone away from me. But on this day, I would meet Jesus!
I attempted suicide one last time and was extremely disappointed when my attempt, which I thought was a sure thing, failed! The gun jammed! I threw it across the room and began to cry when a fly told me about Jesus!
Not a literal fly of course, but someone that God had strategically placed there to share the Gospel! I didn’t want to hear it because I hated anything to do with God! I thought, “He can’t love me because I’m damaged goods, a mistake!”
Well, I’m not a mistake and I know that now! Romans 8 says, “the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God…creation itself will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.”
2 Corinthians 4 says, “our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight.”
Stay tuned to continue reading Rocky’s Blogmas post! Part two will be published tomorrow!
The Few 
Leave a comment