SELF-RESPECT, STANDARDS, AND AN EMBARRASSING STORY

(Post by: Lilly Hobbs)

A lot of people probably look at my family and think we are crazy! No really! We live a life that the world thinks is weird and different.  We are a homeschooling family who loves Jesus and does ministry together. We don’t play every sport that has ever been created. We have very high standards and goals for ourselves, and so on. Does this make us perfect? Absolutely not! Am I ok with not going to public school and not having a trillion friends? Yep, I sure am.

Honestly, me and my family just live totally different from what the world classifies as “normal”. However, I like to say we live in light of eternity.

My dad was in the Air Force, so growing up I have always been taught to keep my standards high and to never quit; no matter how hard it was or if it was just easier to lower my standards in order to fit in. I have been brought up in a strong Christian home as well, and there are standards I have set for myself in that area.

 I have strict standards for myself because I want to please God, and I also respect myself. I believe that if you respect yourself, then you will set your standards high. Self-Respect = Standards and Guidelines.

 The sad truth today is that most girls don’t have any self-respect, resulting in what we see in our modern culture. They don’t have standards because they don’t want to do anything that may be hard or take effort. They just choose to go with the flow.

Before I jump into sharing with you some of my personal standards as a teen girl, I want to make sure you understand a few things…

  1. Jesus tells us straight up what is right and wrong and the things we should do, and then it is our decision whether we listen and choose to live like He says. It’s called free will. I don’t choose to set guidelines for myself based on a man-made set of rules. I choose to set them up because I love Jesus and I want to do what He says.
  2. I believe that you should set your standards early in life so that you aren’t in a situation where you end up doing something you didn’t really want to do. Set your standards and stick to them. If you do this early, you won’t end up in a situation where you don’t know what to say or do.

Ok. Now that I have made that clear, I am going to share with you a few of my standards and guidelines that I have put in place for myself, and how it helped me avoid some things I did not want later…

I have personally decided to court instead of date. (Courting means to date with the intention of marriage). I have set that standard because I don’t want to just date around to have “fun” or to just be able to say that I have a boyfriend. I want to be intentional in the area of relationship because I do not want to end up with a bunch of heartache and regrets later.

 I have chosen to save sex for my wedding day with my husband. I have set this standard based off of Matthew 19:4-6 which says, “He answered them, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

 I want to experience intimacy with one man, within God’s design, which is marriage. I don’t want to get married and know that I had experiences with a bunch of other guys. God intended it to be between one man and one woman. Done deal. Marriage and intimacy are supposed to represent the connection between Jesus and the Church; holy, sacred, and special.

It’s time that a FEW girls broke the trend of quitting on themselves in order to “fit in” and decided to do something hard, because it’s worth it to set challenging standards. It’s what Jesus calls us to.

Elisabeth Elliot once said, “If your goal is purity of heart, be prepared to be thought very odd.”

Do I expect it to be hard to court instead of date around and then wait for my wedding day to be intimate? Yes, I do. However, my goal is purity of heart, and I’m prepared for people to think I’m crazy and weird for it.

I know if I hold myself to those guidelines though, Jesus will be pleased and glorified through my choices to do hard things.

A couple months ago, I was at a church helping with an outreach and there was a young guy there who kept talking to me during the time I was there. He was very nice and respectful but as things were wrapping up, he asked for my phone number, (which he had hinted about getting a couple times before, but I was able to ignore it). I do not want to be rude or make this guy sound weird or anything, but I knew what his intention was.

It was the first time I had been in a situation like that. However, I knew what my standards were and from the long conversation we had, I knew that they did not line up with his.

Now, I’ll have to admit that I felt awkward saying no. I wasn’t really sure how to say no to him.

Are you ready for my really weird response? Here is exactly what I said, “You can have my dad’s number if you want.” Ahhhh! Really Lilly?!?!

I know, it was kinda awkward, but we laughed it off and it was all good!

I tell you that embarrassing story to say this, if I would not have known what my standards were, I would have been so much more uncomfortable, and it would have made it very easy to say yes and just give him my number. Right?

Now you may be wondering why giving him my phone number mattered. In my mind, if I would have given him my number, I would be leading him to believe that I was interested in something more. Like I said, I knew what his intention was, and it didn’t line up with what I have set in place for myself.

However, you can set standards for yourself in any area of your life. It doesn’t just have to be the area of relationship. It can be areas of your life such as school, Church or a Bible Study, friends and family, etc.

I know standards and guidelines are sometimes challenging and are a lot to commit too, and I cannot promise it will be easy, but what I can promise is that it’s worth it and so rewarding to listen to what God says!

SO WHAT’S YOUR RESPONSE?

~Have you thought about setting up certain standards so that you don’t end up doing something you don’t want to do later?

~Has it been hard to stay committed to some of the guidelines you have put in place?

~What are your thoughts from this post? Did it help you realize something?

4 thoughts on “SELF-RESPECT, STANDARDS, AND AN EMBARRASSING STORY

  1. crazyjeausfreak7 says:

    Yes. I have set standards for myself. This is because going to a public school there are many bad things that happen so I have to make sure I stay out of that. It is kinda hard to stay committed because I want to fall into the temptations and be like everyone else so that I am not left out but I have been doing pretty good about this. By setting standards for myself, my walk with God can be much stronger because I don’t have to worry about the bad temptations.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Lacy says:

    I have set up standards some similar and the same as yours and some different. One wrong decision or one standard you don’t set up could lead you to something big that you could regret forever. If it does ever get hard I just think of the pros and cons are of that decision and think it out before.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Madie Hobbs says:

    I have set up standards for myself as well. I definitley think it is a very good thing to have standards set in place for yourself so that you don’t fall into the temptations the world throws at us. It will be tough sometimes but I know that the Lord will reward our obedience to Him and in the future we will all be SO glad that we set these things in place and have held our selves to a higher standard than that which the world sets. I hope to look back at my past and all the temptations that the world throws at me and be able to say that I held fast to my standards and that the Lord helped me and guided me through all the temptations.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. katelynneruthmichael says:

    Yes, I have set standards for myself and I always tell someone what they are so I can be held accountable for my actions that take place.I have never really been in a situation that has made it hard to follow my standers, but I know there will be a situation in the future. So that’s why I set them know so I will not have to face a challenging time or question. This post has helped me to realize that everyone will have some sort of challenging time and we will have to be prepared for what is coming in the future. Which is why we have standards. I love this blog because it really does help us in many different ways to keep our standards in line with God along our side guiding us through all of our standards.

    Liked by 1 person

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